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The countdown had begun – 100 days to go until the big day – and time to start planning it! With peaceful assurance that 3 months is ample time to plan a wedding (3 months is equivalent to 3 years in African timing!), we sat down together to pray and ask God to reveal the vision He had for our marriage union. We perceived the theme ‘Majestic in beauty and the glory of God’. The bible says in 1 Peter 2:9 that we are royal priests to God and that is a truth that God wanted us to internalise and then walk in throughout our lives. As kings serving under the King of Kings, Jesus Christ, our royalty is not only of a spiritual nature, but should also be visible in the natural. The glory of God, likewise, is a spiritual reality, but is made manifest on earth through God’s people. This is because the presence of God resides within us, as written in 1 Corinthians 3:16; “Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” So, we believed God wanted to radiate His glory and majesty through us on our wedding day and impact all who came to celebrate with us. We thus sought to bring out a royal theme in the wedding, but not the royalty of the world; rather the divine majesty of the Kingdom of God.
This revelation inspired us to choose purple and gold as our theme colours, since purple represents royalty and gold signifies the glory of God. Hence, we planned for the marquees (it was a garden wedding) to be decorated in purple and gold draping, the dining tables to be dressed with purple overlays over white tablecloths and the chairs to be tied with gold bows. Of course, the flowers and bridal party attires were also chosen according to our theme colours to complete the picture of majestic in beauty. To symbolise us being carriers of God’s glory, we designed a wedding cake comprised of two golden vessels sitting on a base decorated to match the dining tables. In 2 Timothy 2:20-21, the bible talks of a house having different sorts of vessels, some of value for honourable purposes and some for mundane or ignoble use. It says that we should purify ourselves from lust and foolish talk so that we can be honourable vessels for God to use. That is what we seek to be, so that we can please God and fulfil the purpose He created us for.
Another central theme that we believe God told us to display in our wedding was the ‘unique blend’ of our Kenyan and British cultures. This goal helped us to think critically about the wedding traditions of our respective cultures and liberate us to discard those that are meaningless or ungodly. For example, the Kenyan custom of family members coming forward one-by-one to present their gifts to the couple in front of all the wedding guests (which we think is showing off), and the Western practice of throwing the bridal bouquet to be caught by a single lady who will be the next to get married (which is superstition). In fact, we ended up only retaining the most important and spiritually significant traditions, like exchanging the vows (which had been re-written for us) and wedding rings.
Furthermore, it motivated us to use our creative imagination to produce a unique wedding and pioneer new ways of doing things. For instance, the bridal party wore half African and half Western attires; a mixture of African and Western fabrics were used for the decoration of the tents and tables; sand from the Kenyan coast and shells from the British coast covered the cake table around the bottom of the cake stand (to represent the merging of two shores in the union of two lives); lunch was a mixed buffet of Kenyan food, such as beef pilau rice and chapati, and roast chicken and roast potatoes were served to give a taste of the British cuisine. For the music we achieved a fusion of African and Western genres by having a fantastic local jazz band, which played jazz music with an African tinge as well as indigenously-written English worship songs during the time of praise. The dancing was perhaps the most memorable though. Kenyan and British guests alike danced African style to the classic Kenyan songs and then took part in a British barn dance until everyone was exhausted. Judging by people’s animated remarks since the wedding I think the barn dance will go down in the history of our church! It was not only fun, but we were told by one guest after the wedding that it really ministered to her. She said it had been 7 years since she last danced with her husband, and dancing that day together sparked off fresh fire in their marriage.
In fact, by God’s grace the wedding went perfectly. It was very rewarding to see all the plans that Tom and I had made come to fruition. We had ambitiously taken upon ourselves the task of planning the entire wedding ourselves, down to every tiny detail, but we managed it and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. It was encouraging to discover that we work exceptionally well as a team and that when we combine our unique strengths, we can achieve our goal with relative ease. Nevertheless, it would not have been possible without the abundance of favour that God gave us and the many people who came on board to offer their help and expertise. We purposed from the beginning that we would produce a wedding of the standard of God’s Kingdom, but also that excellence does not necessarily mean expensive. Hence, we negotiated with every single service provider and got over half price for everything. Some things, such as the catering were even virtually free, as friends of ours who work in that particular field offered their services to us.
However, not everything was smooth and easy. The major challenge we faced was on the legal front. Since I am a foreigner in Kenya we had to be married under a different act of the law, which required the church to have a different marriage book. It was expensive, but the church willingly agreed to get it and so made the application. We thought all was well, only to find out 4 days before the wedding that the application had been rejected. On what grounds we are still not sure, as the Registrar had numerous excuses and stories. It became clear that they were after a bribe, which of course we were not going to give. To make the situation more complicated, we also had to apply for a special permit authorising us to use a public venue for the wedding instead of a church. The permit can be acquired in 7 days and we tried to apply several weeks before the wedding, but the hitch was that they would not accept our application without the serial number of the marriage book, which the church had been unable to get....so we ended up going to the marriage registrar offices nearly every day for the 10 days preceding the wedding, spending hours waiting, yet getting nowhere. It was incredibly frustrating and stressful, but we kept on trusting in God. We really learnt the power of thanksgiving prayer – thanking God in faith that you already have what you want, rather than pleading for it. The day before the wedding, at around 3pm we got the marriage book and by 5:10pm (the Registrar’s office usually closes before 5pm) we also had the special permit for the venue. It was a miracle.
After a sleepless night due to anticipation and excitement, I arose early to start the long ritual of beautification; showering, hair styling, make-up and finally dressing. I cannot describe how I felt. The whole day was simply a dream. I remember sitting in the car (a new Mercedes Benz compressor that we were lent for free) as we arrived at the wedding venue and thinking, ‘am I really getting married? Is this actually my wedding?’ There I was dressed in a stunning white dress with a tiara on my head and holding a big bouquet of beautiful lilies, but I could still hardly believe that I was the bride! I was filled with such mixed emotions of excitement, anticipation and nerves that I wasn’t really feeling anything. I got out of the car, my mother and best maid arranged the long train of my dress behind me and I tried to compose myself, waiting to hear Nimrod from Elgar’s Enigma Variations to signal that it was time for me to start walking down the aisle (a grass walkway lined with flower arrangements each side, since it was a garden wedding). My mother then whispered to me that Tom had called her at midnight to say he had something special planned for my entry...
I listened as Tom walked down his aisle to the song ‘It’s only Jesus’ (we had two aisles coming from opposite sides of the ground and meeting in the middle at the front, to represent how we are two individuals coming from different backgrounds and countries to become one being) and then true to it, I heard not Elgar, but something totally new. It began with orchestral strings and then Tom’s voice soared over the top singing a wonderful song composed especially for me. I was so overwhelmed my eyes started to water and I could hardly walk straight as I went down the aisle. As we reached the front, Tom was still pouring out his heart in song, so we just stood there in awe and listened. I have never felt so loved and special in all my life. Tom had always said he would make amends for his rather unromantic proposal (that’s another whole story!), but I never expected anything as wonderful as that. Am I allowed to boast that I have married one of the most romantic and exceptional men on earth?! Well, let me do so anyway, because I think it is true.
